


Don't Believe Me, Just Watch

by LilShitWayne



Category: Justice League
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 19:44:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4032331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilShitWayne/pseuds/LilShitWayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman sing in the shower and Batman doesn't know how to deal with his super (hot) friends</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Believe Me, Just Watch

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the love child of a post-midnight babble with littlekittycas.tumblr , who has no chill about Batman feels, much like me.

 

It started during their patrol.

It was a boring night and they only got to go out once, each ended quickly as Batman had gotten annoyed of Superman’s diplomatic ways and punched the criminal in a mud puddle. The man was knocked out and Superman dealt with the other two while Batman called anonymously to the cops, so they would deal with the petty criminals.

 Wonder Woman entered the Justice League’s headquarters around 1 AM and sat by their side. Superman, covered in mud but still holding a calm smile, had started humming that _pathetic_ song by this hour.

Two hours in and Wonder Woman was leaning against the desk and punctuating every second with a yawn and sometimes brushing her eyes sleepy.

It was driving him crazy. Every time she yawned, her eyes closed slowly and she tugged her hands in her dark hair in a pacific habit.

Around four and half AM they got a call from the north of Detroit and Wonder Woman practically jumped in her feet, happy to do _anything_ besides almost falling asleep on the headquarters’ desk.

“Hey, guys, heavy night?” Flash asked, walking in around 6 AM to take his patrol post. Green Lantern should be here soon.

Batman raised his eyes, realizing he had dozed off and looked around. Superman was curled up in his chair and had covered himself in the cape, as if it was a safe blanket.

He rolled his eyes and shook his colleague.

“Not really. Wonder Woman should be back in a few, she left around four AM to deal with a bank robbery” mumbled, tired and dirty. Superman still blinking drowsily tagged along with him and they went to the common shower of the headquarters’.

After preventing his colleague of entering his stall in full gear, Batman striped down his black costume and quickly closed the door.

The hot water sprayed on him and Batman was suddenly awake.

In the stall next to his, Superman seemed to recover his sense too and he could hear his colleague turn up the water and go back to humming.

_“Stylin', whilen… Livin' it up in the city”_

Batman wrinkled his nose as he heard the lyrics and the familiar rhythm. He blamed Nightwing and let out an annoyed sigh.

 _“Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent…Got kiss myself, I'm so pretty”_ Superman made a kiss noise and Batman rolled his eyes, turning around and letting the water run down his stifle neck.

“Superman, would you mind to stop this awful noise?” he snapped, resting hands on the stall door.

“What? Me singing?” the other one laughed “You _love_ it, Bruce”

He rolled his eyes and groaned as Superman restarted humming the song from the beginning.

  _“Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent…Got kiss myself, I'm so pretty”_ he sang again, this time louder and made another kissing sound that made Bruce smile a bit and hummed the song.

“ _I’m too hot!”_ Clark screeched, his voice making an awful _teenager_ crack.

Bruce laughed “ _Hot damn!”_ he yelled back.

_“Called a police and a fireman… I’m too hot!”_

_“Hot damn!”_

_“Make a dragon wanna retire, man… I’m too hot!”_

_“Hot damn”_

_“Say my name, you know who I am! I’m too hot!”_

_“Hot damn!”_ Bruce was hopelessly laughing now. Clark’s voice was absolutely off tune, but he had a perfect rhythm.

 _“And my band 'bout that money… Break it down!”_ a loud tap and Wayne could swear his friend was _dancing_ in the showers. He thought he heard the door opening, but shrugged the thought, because Superman was making a ridiculous dance and whoever just entered would pay no attention to Batman.

He heard a shower stall start running and sighed, expecting Clark to go back to his shy persona.

Instead, he was on the receiving end of a loud, obnoxious, shriek _“Girls hit you ‘hallelujah’ ”_

He was about to answer, but a female voice cut him off.

“ _Whooo”_

Batman bent down laughing as he heard Diana join Clark to their horrible duet. Thought her voice was way more melodic than Superman’s, she had no rhythm.

“You both suck”

“Join us then, Bruce” Diana laughed.

And he did. Firstly, it was a mumble. A stuttering mess as he tried to accompany Clark’s rhythm.

 _“Saturday night and we in the spot…Don't believe me, just watch!”_ his friend yelled, tapping loudly in the walls and making the sound echo in the bathroom.

Diana laughed and joined Bruce in the _“C’mon!”_ and Batman would bet thousand dollars that she too was dancing.

They kept singing, Clark making louder and more horrible sounds with his teenager voice and Diana completely off rhythm. Bruce was too occupied laughing to tag along.

He heard a noise and the door opening and closing.

 _“Stop! Wait a min-_ AaRGh!” They yelled as the hot water suddenly turned freezing cold.

Out of reflex Bruce jumped out of the stall, just like his two best friends. His two _very naked_ and _very wet_ friends.

He groaned and looked around frantically for his towel. But the bathroom had no towels and his dirty costume had disappeared.

“Where are our clothes?!” Diana exclaimed, shaking a bit from cold and crossing her arms over her chest. Clark had gone a shade of purplish red and turned around. He was staring at the bathroom door.

“The door is locked!” he exclaimed.

Bruce took a deep breath and tried to stare at the ceiling and _not_ think about Superman and Wonder Woman in their birthday suits.

And the more he tried not to stare or think about it, the less he could block the thoughts.

Bruce felt slightly dizzy as his blood started to pump and leave a ringing sensation in his ears.

“I’m not going back in a cold shower” Diana complained, turning off her shower “I’d rather air dry”

And _really_ Diana?! Bruce quickly glanced at her and she was rubbing her arms, resting lazily against the bathroom wall.

Clark too had returned to his normal color and, still staring to a ground point, was slowly turning around.

Did they have NO common sense??

Bruce let out an annoyed sigh and a mild distressed noise and entered his stall, closing the door with a bang.

“Bruce?” Kent’s voice, all concerned for his friend well being. Ugh, Bruce was ok, as long all of his 100% muscle friends stayed dressed.

“I’m _not_ standing naked with you two” he growled back “I’d rather freeze”

“Oh, c’mon!” Diana laughed “We’ve all seen you naked before! _Who_ do you think stripes you down when you come back bloodied and unconscious?”

He cursed, closing his eyes. He _knew_ his boys had striped him down. But they were his _children_.

Clark and Diana were a whole other story.

“Please, stop”

“Stop being a kid, then. You gonna get sick standing in a freezing shower” Clark scowled.

“Why are you so moved to stand with us? I’m pretty sure both of you have seen me naked before” Diana agreed.

“Covered in _blood_ , Diana!” Bruce yelled “I’m not coming out and staring your shameless assholes”

Clark started to laugh at this point.

“ _Fine_ ” she answered, the sarcasm dripping from her voice like venom.

Wayne groaned, letting his head rest on the stall wall and the cold water hit him on the face. He prayed for death.

“Clark” called. He had to wait a few more minutes so his friend would stop laughing “Can’t you punch down the door?”

A giggle from Diana.

“I can…” Kent answered, hesitantly “But then I’d be naked in the Justice League hallway and, while I’m fairly sure that Lois is okayish with you and Diana seeing me naked, I’m not sure she would approve the entire League seeing that too”

“Good excuse” Bruce mumbled “What about you, Diana? You don’t have a boyfriend who would get mad about you walking naked. And you seem _so comfortable_ in nature… Are even trying to make me join your fan club”

A loud laughter from Clark muffled her rather obscene insult.

“ _I’m not punching down the door!”_ she yelled over Kent’s laughter “If you’re so concerned about your nakedness around us, go punch down the door yourself! You’re the one sitting in a cold shower, after all!”

“I _hate_ you both” Bruce yelled back “ _Someone_ better bring us clothes and unlock the door. I’m not staying in the shower until lunch time!”

“Then get out!” Clark sniggered.

“I _can’t_!” and then “I have a _fucking_ boner!”

The silence that followed this sentence was heavy.

And then Bruce heard it.

Oh, he heard it.

The sniggers and muffled giggling fits over the door. Barry was _dead_ , when he got a hold on him.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
